Video from the Fall Festival 2007

Here is a little scene from the Fall Festival. My son is the cow.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Halloween

Halloween: What a strange time for Christians…especially since the 31st falls on a Wednesday this year. I know that some churches have actually cancelled church for today in light of the event. I also know that some parents will not take their children trick-or-treating. Some parents see no harm in it. Some parents use the night for evangelistic opportunities. I’m curious as to what you do on Halloween. Thoughts?

Here is a link about the origins of Halloween and some options to consider.

Mission Trips

One of the activities that we have brewing here at FirstKids is a mission trip that older children (3rd-5th grade) can participate in. We are planning on taking the children somewhere or some place where they can “show the love of Christ” to someone in need. Whether it be an elderly person, a needy family, or whatever, we want to teach our children to show the love of Christ to those who are in need by serving them in some way. Whether it’s raking up leaves, picking up pinecones or bagging trash, we want our children to show their love of Christ to those who need to see it. Ideas? Shoot them to me. Thanks!

Shepherding Ch.4: You’re in Charge

“Our culture does not like authority…we need a biblical understanding of authority. What is the nature of the parent’s authority over a child? Is it absolute or relative? Is the authority vested in the parent because of the relative size difference between parents and young children? Are we in charge because we are smarter and more experienced? Are we called to rule because we are not sinners and they are? Do we have the right to tell our kids to do anything we want them to do? If you don’t answer questions such as these, you will be tentative and insecure in discharging your duty to God and to your children.” (Tripp, 27).

So opens chapter 4. Just who is in charge of families? The fact that this question is even being discussed is cause for concern, if not alarm. While most parents would state that they are “in control” of their children, in actuality, exposed by their actions, children are the real order-givers. Obviously, this relationship gone awry is a large cause of familial problems.

One of the main reasons that authority is not properly exhibited in the family relationship is because our culture has a problem with the concept of authority.

“The culture in which you live does not have a biblical understanding of authority. We think of authority as derived either from overwhelming force or consent…our culture has no notion of intelligent, thinking persons willingly placing themselves under authority. When we allow our children to become independent decision makers we give them a false idea of liberty and a mistaken notion about freedom. Freedom is not found in autonomy, it is found in obedience” (Psalm 119:44-45).

The Bible answers this question: “As a parent, you have authority because God calls you to be an authority in your child’s life.” (Tripp, 28). You have a biblical call to be in charge.

You also have a biblical call to obedience. You have a mandate to act to be the chief advisor and disciplinarian to your child. God has called you to a more profound task than being only a care-provider.

One of the areas of being in charge in your parenting that Tripp addresses is having humility in your task.

“It is sobering to realize that you correct your child by God’s command. You stand before him as God’s agent to show him his sin. Just as an ambassador is conscious of functioning in behalf of the country that has sent him, so the parent must be aware of the fact that he is God’s representative to the child.” (Tripp, 33).

On anger:

“I have spoken to countless parents who genuinely thought their unholy anger had a legitimate place in correction and discipline. They reasoned that they could bring their children to a sober fear of disobeying if they showed anger…What that child learns is the fear of man, not the fear of God…unholy human anger may teach your children to fear you. They may even behave better, but it will not bring about biblical righteousness.” (Tripp, 34).

On discipline:

“Discipline is corrective, not punitive. The primary thrust of discipline is not to take revenge, but to correct. The discipline of a child is a parent refusing to be a willing party to his child’s death.” (Proverbs 19:18) (Tripp, 37)

There is a difference between punshment and discipline.

1. How do you present your authority to your children?

2. How would you describe your job as God’s agent for discipline?

Shepherding Ch.3: Your Child’s Development: Godward Orientation

“Everyone is esentially religious. Children are worshipers. Either they worship Jehovah or idols. They are never neutral.” (Tripp, 19)

Ouch, Dr. Tripp. If you didn’t notice, Tripp states that children (and adults) inherently worship someone or something. And if they are not worshiping God, then who or what are they worshiping?

Building upon Romans 1:18-19, Tripp states, “Your children either respond to God by faith or they suppress the truth in unrighteousness. If they respond to God by faith, they find fulfillment in knowing and serving God. If they suppress the truth in unrighteousness, they will ultimately worship and serve the creation rather than the Creator.” (Tripp, 19-20). It is in this sense that Tripp is using the phrase, “Godward Orientation.”

All people are made in the image of God, therefore all people are designed with a orinatation for worship. Therefore, our children will either worship God or they will commit idolatry. Children are sinners. They are born with sinful heart.

“Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5) The Bible teaches that man sins because he is a sinner. Your children are never morally neutral, not even from the womb.

Since children, as well as adults, can never be neutral in their worship, the heart decides who the person will worship. Therefore, parenting, as Tripp says,

“is not just providing good input. It is not just creating a constructive home atmoshphere and positive interaction between a child and his parent. There is another dimension. the child is interacting with the living God. He is either worshiping and serving and growing in understanding of the implications of who God is, or he is seeking to make sense of live without a relationship with God.” (Tripp, 21).

Tripp then staes, “Most parenting books are written to help you do the best possible job of providing constructive shaping influences for your child…tips, ideas…I am not only setting forth some ideas about biblical structures for life, but also approaches to shepherding a child by reaching his heart.” (Tripp, 22).

Here are some questions to mediate on from this groundbreaking chapter:

1. How can you design winsome and attractive ways of challenging the idolatry you may see within your child?

2. How can you make your focus in correction the deeper issues of Godward orientation? How can you help your child see how he is investing himself in things that cannt satisfy?

Fall Festival

This Sunday evening from 5-8 pm the First Baptist Church of Columbia is having its annual Fall Festival. This is one of the largest events of the year for FirstKids.

You can tell by the advertisement we have A LOT going on.

Please invite all of your friends. Every guest who registers receives a bag of information about the church as well as a plan of salvation.

We look forward to seein you and your friends this Sunday night!

Moving

The offices of FirstKids Children’s Ministry here at FBC are currently in transition. We are going to be in former Blue Room of the children’s center. We will try to resume posting on this site in the next few days!

Shepherding Ch.2: Your Child’s Development: Shaping Influences

Children are being shaped and molded by life’s circumstances. “All the aspects of family living have a profound impact on the persons your chidren become.” (p.10).

Chapter two is about how various influences factor into the overall development of your children. Tripp defines “shaping influences” as “those events and circumstances in a child’s developmental years that prove to be a catalyst for making him the person he is. But shaping is not automatic; the ways he reponds to these events and circumstances determine the effect they have upon him.” (p.10)

Tripp states that all people, including children, respond to their shaping influences by his or her Godward (or lack thereof) orientation of his heart. Tripp outlines six influences that lie both within and outside parental control:

1. Structure of Family Life – Every family has a structure or a culture. This structure shapes a child’s life. My question to you regarding this influence is what kind of family culture are you creating for your children? What do they hear you say, react, and do?

2. Family Values – What is important to your family? Tripp states that you must ask, “Are the values of your home based on human tradition and the basic principles of this world or on Christ?” (p.12) How open is your family? Are their secrets kept from each other? Should there be?

3. Family Roles – How involved are the parents in a family structure? Is the father involved or is he distant? Who pays the bills? How do you speak and address your children?

4. Family Conflict Resoultion – “Sammy would get mad and run from the kindergarten clas whenever he did not like what was going on. The teacher called his parents in for a conference. Sammy’s dad got frustrated with the conference and abruptly left the room. The teacher gained a better understanding of why Sammy behaved this way.” (p.13) Ouch…your children are watching, learning, and imitating.

5. Family Respone to Failure – Your children will fail. They will not always come out on top. How your family responds to your child’s failure molds him. Do you encourage your children or do you mock them when failure happens?

6. Family History – Every family has a history that shapes as well.

A word of caution: “two mistakes are made in interacting with the shaping influences of life. The first is seeing shaping influences deterministically…the second mistake is denial.” (p.15)

This is one of the best chapters in parenting that I’ve read. We are all influenced but we can change how we react to those influences. It is with this action that Tripp turns to in chapter three.

Shepherding Ch.1: Getting to the Heart of Behavior

“The Scripture teaches that the heart is the control center for life. A person’s life is a reflection of his heart…the behavior a person exhibits is an expression of the overflow of the heart.” (Proverbs 4:23) (p.3)

A person’s heart determines his behavior, Tripp states in the opening chapter. This is reflected in Mark 7:21 which states,

“… from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly.”

Evil starts in the heart. Likewise, what we say and do, and what our children say and do is a reflection of what is in the heart. This point is crucial in Tripp’s overall thesis as he asserts that,

“These passages are instructive for the task of childrearing. They teach that behavior is not the basic issue. The basic issue is always what is going on in the heart…the heart is the control center of life. Parents often get sidetracked with behavior.” (p.4)

Tripp asserts that a simple change of behavior is not enough. Your child’s needs in discipline “are far more profound thean his aberrant behavior. Remember, his behavior does not just spring forth uncaused. His behavior – things he says and does – reflects his heart. If you are to really help him, you must be concerned with the attitudes of heart that drive his behavior.” (p.4)

Tripp goes on to state that a change in behavior that is not a change of heart is pharisaical hypocrisy. Remember, Jesus rebuked hypocrisy.

I agree with Tripp in this chapter wholeheartedly. We must have rules. And rules are based on our moral calling. However, what is more important: a) your child “minding” you “because I said so”? or b) your child changing his behavior because he realizes that it is sin and and must be sorry (repent) for his sin?

I think you would agree that (b) would be far more important.

Tripp’s entire discipline philosophy is based on this: The heart is the issue, not the behavior.

Why does your child disobey your laws/rules? He has an unrepentant heart. Why does your toddler desire every toy for himself and say “that’s mine!” to his playmates? He has a selfish, sinful heart.

Until we understand this truth, our parenting will be stripped to the bare minimum of legalism…keeping laws for laws sake.

Do you find yourself concentrating more on your child’s behavior then his heartfelt actions?

And finally, here is a question that I’d really like some input from:

Why is it so easy to get sidetracked with behavior when issues of the heart are clearly so much more important?

Shepherding: Introdution

“The only safe guide is the Bible. It is the revelation of a God who has infinite knowledge and can therefore give you absolute truth. God has given you a revelation that is robust and complete. It presents an accurate and comprehensive picture of children, parents, family life, values, training, nurture, and discipline – all you need to be equipped for the task of parenting.” (p.xix)

In the universe of parenting philosophies, what often gets left out is what the Bible says about this subject. This is one of the reasons that we give this book out to parents when their child is dedicated to the Lord and to the congregation. This is also one of the reasons why I have decided to do a thorough and lengthy review of this book.

Tripp wastes no time in stating that the church has not been biblical in its approach in the past.

“The church borrowed the old ‘you listen to me, kid, or I’ll cuff you’ method of raising children. It seemed to work. Children seemed to obey. They were externally submissive. This method fails us now because our culture no longer responds to authority as it did a generation ago. We lament the passing of this way of rearing children because we miss its simplicity. I fear, however, we have overlooked its unbiblical methods and goals.” (p.xviii)

So, what does Tripp say for us to do? Our parents and our grandparents didn’t raise us biblically?

“Let me overview a biblical vision for the parenting task. The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you as people under God.” (p.xix)

A kind authority…this is likely to be misconstrued as being ‘weak.’ However, Jesus who was described as kind and meek was far from weak. Tripp expands on this:

“God calls his creatures to live under authority. He is our authority and has vested authority in people within the institutions he has established (home, church, state, and business). You must not be embarrassed to be authorities for your children.

Our culture tends toward the extreme poles on a continuum. In the area of authority, we tend either toward a crass kind of John Wayne authoritarianism or toward being a wimp. God calls you by his Word and his example to be authorities who are truly kind. God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants – authorities who lay down your lives.” (p.xix-xx)

And here is the main quote:

“The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.” (p.xx)

Furthermore, Tripp then asserts that the parent is also the child’s guide, or shepherd, as he or she is growing up. This involves, “investing your life in your child in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life…values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught.” (p.xxi)

In other words, children need to not only hear a sermon, they need to see and experience one from their shepherd/pastor: you.

Finally, Tripp asserts that “the central focus of parenting is the Gospel.” (p.xxi) And here is one of the most important statements that he makes:

“Your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.” (p.xxii)

Tripp will develop this idea throughout the rest of the book.